Russian, Chess-Playing Robot Breaks Kid’s Finger
RUSSIAN ROBOT GIVES 7-YEAR-OLD THE ULTIMATE CHECKMATE
Russia takes their chess very seriously… there, even the robots are trained to win chess at all costs. Prime example, this out of Moscow. A robot was playing chess against a 7-year-old opponent. When the non-robot chess playing child went to make his move, the robot grabbed the kids finger and squeezed it SO HARD that his finger actually fractured. The quote from Sergey Lazarev, the president of the Moscow Chess Federation, really brings it home. “The robot broke the child’s finger. This is of course bad.” Yeah, no ****. Another chess official without a broken finger said the robot doing this was a “coincidence” and that the machine was “absolutely safe”, which makes us want to break our finger in order to tell him what we think of that answer.
RIP CHOCO TACO?
A moment of silence for a dessert delicacy that is no longer with us. Yes, Klondike has pulled the plug on the beloved Choco Taco. The Drumstick-in-taco-form was created back in the 80’s and could only be picked up in ice cream trucks until the early 90’s when they unleashed its goodness on the world. The company said other products have eclipsed the faux-Mexican treat in popularity and in order to continue keeping up with that demand, the less popular Choco Taco had to go. Once again proof that life is unfair.
CEO OF RAISING CANES BOUGHT A LOTTERY TICKET… FOR EVERY ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES
They say the sauce is the boss at Raising Cane’s but the actual boss is pretty great too. CEO Todd Graves is buying a Mega Millions ticket for every one of his employees, 50,000 in total, with the pledge that whatever they win, they’ll win together. If they hit the $810,000,000 jackpot, that’d be over $16,000 each, before tax. Not enough to see a mass-resignation, but still, not too shabby! We’d wish them best of luck, but we want some of that sweet cash too. So… second-best of luck.
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