Paper Straws Are The Biggest Threat To Society
Needless to say, I love the environment and nature. I have basked in the majesty that is the Redwoods, awe-inspiring, gargantuan trees that will make your jaw drop. I’ve also helped rescue stray dogs and has a heart for the planet. But, with that love for the world around me, I have a limit: paper straws.
Paper straws are the absolutely worst. Now listen, I do my part. I avoid single-use plastics whenever possible. I use a reusable container for my spring water that I get in big bottles. I don’t buy styrofoam. I rinse off my recycling before I throw it in the bin. I avoid the plastic bag whenever possible at the store.
Yes, I saw the video of the turtle with the straw in his nose. That totally sucks, but maybe the answer is… brace yourself… stop throwing plastic in the ocean. There is an AMAZING organization called The Ocean Cleanup that has made it their mission to do just that… keep the plastic out of the water in the first place.
Maybe the answer is metal straws. Maybe straws made out of brick or clay. But… you cannot tell me that paper straws are the answer.
First of all, it is virtue signaling. A chance for businesses to show how “woke” they are for the kids, meanwhile the straws aren’t even recyclable much of the time because the inside of the paper straw is lined with plastic. Can’t even make it up.
Then you factor in the simple fact that a straw’s sole purpose is it’s ability to suck. Kind of like the New York Yankees. Except, if a paper straw is submerged in water for more than 5 minutes, it becomes mush. I was given a paper straw at The Habit to drink my delicious Oreo shake… and it was physically impossible to drink it. Don’t hand me a plastic spoon to eat it, you monsters. What are we doing?!
I will do anything for the environment. But, I won’t do that. Meatloaf was right the whole time.
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