Kesha is opening up about how anxiety has taken its toll on her in a new interview. The singer-songwriter revealed she once had such intense anxiety that she mistook it for a “psychotic break,” noting that she’s since turned to “spirituality” to heal.
The 36-year-old “TiK ToK” singer said she went through a “crazy psychedelic spiritual experience in the midst of the anxiety… it was pure anxiety.” Though she felt like she was in the process of having a psychotic break, the California native “started leaning into it.” As it was happening, she asked herself: “‘What am I going to do about it?'”
She explained that a song from her newly released album, Gag Order, was inspired by the experience. “I had this full psychedelic kind of trip sober, and that’s what ‘Eat the Acid‘ is written about.”
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The “triple Pisces” further explained that she loves “weird, unexplainable, spiritual, supernatural stuff.” After this experience, she says that she went down the rabbit hole that she’s currently in. “I’m just trying to read about it because I feel like we’re all talking about a similar thing,” she added.
Released last week, Gag Order finds the singer getting more introspective as she sings about mental health and past romantic relationships. Throughout the record, she also seems to allude to her ongoing legal battle with ex-collaborator Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald. Kesha first sued the producer in 2014 for sexual, emotional and physical abuse. He filed a countersuit the same year. Her claims were dismissed by a judge in 2016, but his defamation suit against her is set to go to trial this summer — despite multiple appeals, per People.
Elsewhere in the interview, Kesha spoke about finding it difficult to trust romantic partners. “I have people that I trust implicitly so much in my life, so I’m very lucky for that. But I have a harder time in romantic relationships fully trusting,” explained Kesha. “I’m going to be honest with you. And yeah, it’s something I work on. That’s why I’m constantly working on myself is because… selfishly, I’d like to be happy.”