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Experts Weigh In: When Is It Worth Reuniting With An Ex?

Getting back together with an ex can seem like a promising idea, but it often brings mixed results. Sometimes, rekindling an old relationship can reignite something special, but other times,…

Angry Woman Setting Couple Picture on Fire After a Break-up, an ex
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Getting back together with an ex can seem like a promising idea, but it often brings mixed results. Sometimes, rekindling an old relationship can reignite something special, but other times, it can be a recipe for disappointment. I’ve been through this myself and can’t help but wonder why I thought revisiting an old flame was a good choice. It’s like trying on clothes from years ago and realizing they no longer fit.

Maybe if you’re the friend who’s never revisited the past, you might find yourself advising friends against it. You might point out how they’re better off moving forward rather than dusting off that outdated love story. There are several reasons why a person would think this. For example, just simply growing into completely different people or being just as mismatched as you were years ago.

What do relationship experts have to say about rekindling a relationship with an ex?

Susan Winter and Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario, who both work as relationship coaches, told PEOPLE that there are reasons why a second try at a relationship could work. Let’s take a look at some of the top reasons on their list.

Winter shared with the outlet that reconsidering a past relationship is valid when “positive changes have occurred for both partners.” She continued to use examples like addiction finally being addressed, poor communication patterns have been addressed, or therapy has been pursued in a healthy transformation.

She also notes that a breakup done "in haste" should be eligible for "reconsideration," as should a split when "one or both partners have reached a clearer understanding of themselves and can now separate the need to blame their partner for what is their personal responsibility."

According to Del Rosario, there are many reasons, however, why a reconciliation is not wise for certain couples. She explained to the outlet, "Exes should never get back together if there was abuse involved, whether it be physical, emotional or financial abuse. You don’t leave danger to return back to it."

Both experts point out that former lovers shouldn't get back together for reasons such as shared children.

While these relationship experts share how it isn’t necessarily a bad thing to get back together with an ex, some people firmly believe that you should never rekindle an old flame. In a Reddit thread someone shared that, “Once someone has broken your heart, your relationship just won’t be the same even if it renews.” Another person added that, “There’s a low chance you’ll get back together, and a low chance it will last if you do.”

Kayla is the midday host on Detroit’s 105.1 The Bounce. She started her career in radio back in 2016 as an intern at another Detroit station and worked her way here. She's made stops in Knoxville, TN, Omaha, Ne and other places before returning to Detroit. She’s done almost everything in radio from promotions to web, creating content on social media, you name it. She’s a true Michigander, born and raised. So, you can catch her camping or vacationing up north to exploring the downtown Detroit or maybe even catching a sports game. During her free time, Kayla enjoys watching movies, roller-skating, crafting, and music festivals. She and her husband together dip into many of the great things Michigan has to offer. Together they also like to travel. A few hobbies of hers include wine and beer tastings, crafting, hiking, roller skating, movies, home improvement projects, gardening, and festivals. She’s always looking to take on more local events happening in the community. She loves connecting with the community. When writing, Kayla covers topics including lifestyle, pop culture, trending stories, hacks, and urban culture.