Driving in Las Vegas is an adventure. By adventure we mean arguably the worst thing since paper cuts and bleu cheese. Yes, drivers in the valley leave a lot to be desired and today we take them on.
As a driver on Blue Diamond Road nearly every day, I have been witness to, and involved in everything. I was hit by a tractor trailer that decided to plow through me when a light turned green. Oh, and I had a motorcyclist chase me because I had the gall to drive in my lane while he split lanes. (I shook him at the 15 ramp at the Silverton).
Just recently I was picking up my kid from daycare in Southern Highlands. The one lane road I was on has a speed limit of 35 miles per hour. So, as is customary, I drive 40. Please don’t arrest me – but we all know there’s a little wiggle room. A guy in a big RAM truck who looks like he has never used the flatbed once in his life starts riding my ass. I see in the rear view he does the “hand brush”, as to tell me to go faster and risk getting a ticket so this stranger can get to his Napoleon Complex Anonymous meeting faster.
I waved at him. This caused him rage. He flipped me off. I threw a thumbs up. He then… took the next right into his subdivision. The amount of vitriol he had for the fact I wasn’t going fast enough over the speed limit to delay him by approximately four seconds! It’s hysterical.
We’ve all seen the drivers we can’t stand. Multiple times. I tried to list a bunch of them here, but let me know if I missed anything!
The KOM Plateholder Driver
Otherwise known as the “I have double immunity no erasies” driver who thinks just because they have a plate that insinuates they are the child of a Metro employee, they are free to do anything they want. Nope.
The Lane-Splitter
Sure, it’s not legal in Nevada. But that doesn’t stop motorcyclists from cutting between cars, driving over the Botts’ dots and nearly clipping your mirror.
The Compensator
God didn’t give him much to work with. So he bought a muscle car or lifted truck and he takes out his pain on the road, cutting you off, flipping the bird and rolling coal whenever possible.
The No-You-Don't Driver
Sure, you have your directional on. Sure, there’s enough room for you to merge. But Marge, in her large SUV, will have none of it. She accelerates, beeps her horn at you for daring to share a lane with her, and it becomes uncomfortable for everyone.
The Lefty
Yes. The left lane is a lane. It’s called the passing lane. Not the drive 3 under the limit and listen to CCR whilst whistling and tapping your steering wheel lane. Move over.
The Face-Putter-Onner
Honey, your makeup isn’t going to help you if you crash that car. Put the mascara away, flip up the visor, and drive.
The No-Blinker
There is a device in the car that will inform people behind you that you intend to turn. But why use that when you can rely on telepathy.
The Over-Blinker
You took a left about 9 miles ago. Your blinker is still on. The person behind you flashes their beams at you but you pay no mind. You drive blissfully unaware of your surroundings. This is also “The Drive Without Your Lights On Driver”.
The No-Plate Driver
Wait… does… does anyone see this guy? He’s got no plate? Metro are you… why aren’t you pulling him over?! HE JUST CUT THAT LADY OFF?! How are you allowed to drive without plates in Vegas?!
The California Driver
They came here for lower taxes, less traffic and cheaper homes, like many of us did. But they came after us, and now our traffic is worse, homes are unaffordable and… well at least the taxes aren’t there. Yet.
