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7 Silly Things You Can Buy Online

By Shawn Tempesta
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 10: "Weird Al" Yankovic poses with the Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package award in the press room during the 61st Annual GRAMMY Awards at Staples Center on February 10, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images)

Ah the internet. It’s a wonderous place where you can make a pen pal with someone clear across the globe, watch an endless array of movies, shows and videos, and have the ability to buy the most ridiculous things 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Not since Home Shopping Network has shopping at home been so dangerous, but here we are in 2022. You can buy some pretty crazy things online at the click of a button. From having a random celebrity say your name, to buying yourself a couple inches, to eating your Cheez-Its “hands free”. The options are endless.

Well if you’ve been looking for silly ways to spend your money, fear not. We’ve boiled down the goofiest conversation starters (or if you’re single, enders) that money can buy. Some of it is hilarious. Some of it is frivolous. All of it is less money in your pocket.

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  • 'Back To The Future 2' Prop Mini-Pizza

    For the “Back To The Future” nerd in your life that has everything – and we mean everything. No, you can’t hydrate this pizza to full size. But you can show you have too much expendable income.

  • 'Weird Al' Yankovic Birthday SmashUp from American Greetings

    You know what, this isn’t dumb. This is outstanding. You put in their name (the list is massive) and age, and you’ll get the e-card of all e-cards from Weird Al. We are Hallmark people, but good on American Greetings.

  • Snack Finger Chopsticks

    For the one in  your life that plays hours of games but doesn’t like getting Cheetos dust on their remote or keyboard, we present this lovely device.

  • Mask With A Straw Hole

    “Pre-torn jeans”, pandemic edition.

  • Spider in a Box

    For the person that has everything, we present a nightmare fuel inducing box. Open it, spider pops up, and you pee a little.

  • Become A Lord

    https://www.facebook.com/scottishhighlandtitles/photos/a.271327159580602/5263155930397675/?__cft__[0]=AZVf3oGJFxxFRuBW1y7Fr57rcANI0bPno6JD7otOytqkfWDaSv9nQ6qWoeVvkiSROMqv6vSlFfDbkrB–YOucQSrAh5Zu8amPZ5v5VqWASIkPqKZ_X45h1pdrxS2_MxuQ4fEANrkvfBshPA-TLkuM7Ky5CaUPAf4Xuejayvbzn4YH1IdJCi_ofzyBpdFkIHfLCw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R

    An idea so dumb, Shawn bought one. You can buy a (very tiny) plot of land, and become a Lord or Lady. Bow to your (internet purchased) Lord!

  • Make Yourself Taller With Ridiculous Shoes

    Sometimes you don’t get gifted with height. But if you’re so inclined (or, declined), you could get these height-improving shoes. Inside are essentially a big high heel that’ll gain you an inch or two. Just don’t challenge anyone to a race.

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