Selling Things On Facebook Marketplace Is Infuriating: A Rant
Perhaps your kids no longer use a certain toy that still has value. Maybe you stopped getting water bottle deliveries and you want to offload the perfectly fine water dispenser. Where do you turn? Selling things on Facebook Marketplace may seem like a great idea, but trust me when I tell you it was the most ridiculously annoying several weeks of my life.
Selling Things On Facebook Marketplace Means Weeding Through Countless Bums
“Hello, is this still available?” Get used to seeing this message pop up on more than one occasion.
The default message sent by inquisitive minds about your items will come early and often. No matter how fast you reply, it will never be fast enough.
I am selling a bunch of things. One thing in particular is a Little Tikes kids trampoline. The Amazon exclusive sells for $75, but mine is in perfectly great condition and the kids haven’t played on it in years. Time to offload. $30 seems like a decent price, no?
Naz wanted to know if there was rubber grips on the bottom. I messaged no but that it doesn’t slide around. No response. This was on March 16th. He was the first of many disappointments as I try selling things on Facebook Marketplace.
Syed simply tried to offer $20. I declined. I know what I’ve got.
Johanna gave me hope. “Where r u located? To pick up soon,” she wrote. I responded within 15 minutes. No response. I hope she’s OK. Maybe her phone died… 75 days ago.
Louisa gave me way more hope than Johanna. “I would love my son to have this,” she expressed. “Wer r u located? I can pick up tom. Let me know, thank u.”
I let her know and let her know the vast amount of time I was available. “Hi, can we do porch pick up? I can pay you now.” Sure can! I let her know within 15 minutes that I could do that if she uses Zelle and pays me. She didn’t respond in time.
“Hi, sorry I missed ur msg. Msg me the address wen u get home, thank u!” The second I got home I did just that. She ghosted me.
Shawn’s Biggest Disappointment Trying To Sell This Damn Trampoline
Leave it up to Shawna to disappoint me the most though. “When could I pick it up? Can I come between 1-2?” She could type proper English. My hopes, although withered, were at an all time high. Selling things on Facebook Marketplace is exhausting, but this is the reward!
I could, and she was coming. Yes! Excellent!
“Does the bar fold down?” This wasn’t a good sign. Second guessing. “It doesn’t fold but it comes off easily,” I responded. “Ok it will have to come off to fit in my car.” No problem Shawna, no problem.
While awaiting her arrival, I was going through the things and realized I have a ton of Duplo blocks available. I offered them to her in chat – no cost – to sweeten the deal and give her kiddo something fun on top of the parachute.
Shawna ghosted me. For Christ’s sake she ghosted me. I have abandonment issues already, and Shawna really drove it home that I can’t trust anyone.
So you know what world? You win. You win. I am never selling things on Facebook Marketplace again. I tried to reuse, recycle, but no. It is still in my garage three months later and I will be throwing it out the next bulk day. Your children don’t deserve it anymore! Get off my lawn! Bah!